Aussie Curves - Vulnerable Side

With all the amazing ladies from Aussie Curves opening up and sharing their vulnerabilities this week I have found myself thinking (and possibly over-thinking) a lot. Why do we feel so negatively about our bodies? Is it the environment that does it? Society? All this thinking has added a lot of mental anguish to my already big week...

At the beginning of the week I stumbled across a profile on Instagram. It was of a young girl who cut herself. I looked through her pics and she clearly hated herself, her body, her life and mentioned numerous times she wished she was dead. I have been in a similar place before and I know it can be so hard to get yourself out of that dark place. I felt useless and sad that there are SO SO many people like this.

Towards the end of the week, a lady I buy my coffee from most mornings came into my workplace and talked to me about her daughter who was depressed due to a recent large weight increase.  She broke down crying as she told me that her daughter would wear a thick jumper to school on a boiling hot day just to hide her stomach; even if she was dying of heat she wouldn’t take it off because of the embarrassment she felt about her body. This lady told me that she had used me as an example to her daughter that you can be ‘bigger’ but still dress to look amazing. She told me how stunning I looked every day when I went in to get my coffee. I was very flattered by the comment but overwhelmed with sadness and concern for her daughter.

My vulnerable side has been put into perspective this week. I don’t care if I had burns to 90% of my body; I’m still the same person and a beautiful one at that, with or without scars; and the same goes for anyone. I know its corny but I really do believe it’s what’s on the inside that counts.

If you have seen me on Instagram, find me @ charlenegirl or click here ->   you might have seen me post my 2 vulnerabilities. My belly podge (which is only slightly revealed) is reasonably new to me and my bum chin or chins.

Both of these are a result of regaining previously lost weight.

How do I try to avoid this vulnerability??

Choose a good camera angle that doesn't show my second chins.

I have a sleeping disorder called Narcolepsy where I sleep too much. My specialist basically said that things are hard for me because I am overweight (um so is 80% of Australia!) so I got referred to a fat clinic where I lost 15kg. Then...AFTER I'd lost the weight a professor told me that your brain automatically tells your body to put that weight back on unless you go on medication for the rest of your life to prevent that. I’m already on heaps of medication for the rest of my life so I put the weight back on. Instead of going back to all the sections of my body the fat came from, it all moved to my stomach and under my chin.

Slightly revealed stomach podge. How do I hide it?

I choose clothing that fits me well and hide those parts of me I don't want to flaunt.

These two things have made me feel very vulnerable at the moment when it comes to fashion and clothing. My self esteem has been temporarily damaged however I know I will get over it, there are worse things in life!

 

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